mud pies

As I checked my inbox and read my C. S. Lewis Daily this morning, I was hit with major conviction.

from The Weight of Glory

If I'm honest, there are times when I enjoy sitting in the slums making mud pies. But unlike the ignorant child in C. S. Lewis' example, I have no excuse. I have been to that sea and have experienced that joy. Yet I still choose to stay and play with mud.

Why, if I'm offered His best, the riches of His kingdom, the blessings of being His, do I choose less?
Why, when I realize my heart has wandered, do I choose to stay where I am?

Because of pride, an unwillingness to face God [the ultimate Forgiver] and admit my faults.
Because sin doesn't sicken me like it should.
Because I am far too easily pleased with the temporary, with immediate gratification, than I am with the eternal.
Because when I let my guard down, Satan does what he does best: steals, kills, and destroys. And like my friend said to me the other day, he doesn't need a Plan B because he is good at what he does.

Isn't that unsettling?

I allow myself to be so easily tempted out of God's presence [although He never leaves me or forsakes me, I often walk away from Him] and deceived into thinking that what Satan has to offer is somehow better.....like being given pearls and jewels but instead wanting the cheap ring that will turn my finger green and break a week later.

But because nothing can separate me from God's love, I don't wander alone. As I sit playing in the mud, sin-stained and covered in cheap accessories, He shows up. Despite my lack of commitment and my foolishness, He fights for me. He gives me His Spirit who calls me out and convicts me of my sin. Without question, every.single.time., He takes me back. And if I choose [daily] to follow Him, He not only washes me clean and clothes me in righteousness but continuously offers that trip to the sea and that immeasurable joy.

Incredible.