high five, photobooth

teaching

my

students

about

was

fun.

overwhelming sacrifice

I've been on spring break for the past week, and it's been glorious. My days have been filled with "fresh" Beijing air, good food (including guacamole!!), dancing, laughter, and celebrating. It's been so nice to relax. To wake up and stay in my pj's all morning. To temporarily be free from teaching responsibilities. Temporarily. 

I started feeling the weight of work around Thursday. I have a new student who is starting on Monday, so I needed to get her desk and books in order before then. I went in to work for a few hours and was greeted by the piles on my desk of books that were left for planning and papers that were left for grading. Yikes. I did the logical thing and put off working on them until today. O Lord, break my procrastinating spirit!

I met up with my co-teacher to plan and quickly started to feel anxious. It's been a challenging year for us, and I think being off work has made me realize how consuming this year has been. I had a hard time refocusing and getting back into teacher mode. I took a short break from work then decided to go sit outside and grade papers in the sun. I had spent all day inside, and it would have been a waste of a beautiful weather day not to be outside. 

I was listening to music and a song from Bethel Live started playing that reminded me that tomorrow is Easter. I've busied myself with so much that my mind has been on other things. So sad.  The song starts with the line I will not forget the cross. But I do, more often than my sinful heart would care to admit. I fail on a daily basis to think of how blessed I am, that suffering, [He] traded blood for me. Wow. 

Even as I write this, the truth and power behind those words are still hitting me. Here I am, sitting on my bed thinking about my messy room that I should have cleaned weeks ago, and the unfinished lesson plans I need to work on tomorrow. Consumed by my unnecessary busyness. My sin. But somehow, despite my repetitive weakness, my pride, my selfishness, He saw me worthy of that sort of sacrifice. He freely gave His life for me knowing what kind of person I'd be. All for love. Praying that my heart (and yours) receives that today, and every day. 

Bethel Live- What Would I have Done

I will not forget the cross

The pain that You endured for us

Where you carried brokenness and shame

Never to forget the day

Your love broke through to make a way

For hope to rise within my heart again

Overwhelming sacrifice

You freely paid the highest price

Suffering You traded blood for me

My heart will sing the deepest praise

My lips rejoice my hands will raise

For the death that brought me into life

All for love

My Jesus You gave all for love

I am standing in the wonder of

Your great love

What would I have done

If it wasn't for Your love

The love that tore the veil inside my heart

What would I have done

If it wasn't for Your blood

The blood You gave for all on the cross